SITE WIDE SALE: 25% OFF ALL T-SHIRTS, HOODIES, AND RAGLANS, UNTIL DECEMBER 10, 2019! PLACE YOUR ORDER BEFORE DECEMBER 10, 2019 TO ENSURE DELIVERY IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS!

Embrace Your Petty! Wear Your Petty! Love Your Petty!

Petty Proverbs apparel lets you speak your mind without actually saying a word...

I am an extremely sarcastic person, petty as fuck, and I curse WORSE than a sailor! I have always suffered from a dry sense of humor that most people just don't get. I realized when I was as young as 4 years old that I'm not the nicest person and people wouldn't necessarily like me. So you know what I did? I acted like a good little girl, with good manners, and a sweet disposition. Anytime my true petty bitchy self came shining through, it was ALWAYS a shock to folks.

By my teenage and college years, I couldn't hold back so unfurled my true vulgar blunt self on everyone within a 5 mile radius of me (ok...I'm not that bad...but you get the point). Being my truest self was so liberating! Still, only a few special people could tolerate being around me regularly...I found my VERY SMALL tribe...a TEENIE TINY circle of folks who thought I was hilarious in spite of my sharp vulgar sarcastic tongue...and I was cool with that. I'll always be "Diarrhea Mouth" to my closest BFFs...and yes, I proudly embraced that nickname!

As an adult, post college, post graduate school, I acquired a little bit of sense and realized after hurting some really nice folks that "Diarrhea Mouth" was going to be a liability for me if I intended to live among seemingly rational sane people and not on a deserted island. 

My dry sense of humor, blunt voice, and resting bitch face all had to be mostly tucked away...which constipated me. I'm lying...resting bitch face is with me always...but the other girls were tucked away. But I digress...

You know what though? I have ALWAYS loved a cute t-shirt, and so I stacked up a collection of hundreds over the years. I specifically sought out t-shirts, hoodies, and sweatshirts that could speak to me and for me really...and I have come across some shirts, here and there, that were blunt and sarcastic, but none that spoke MY language.

Also thought, as I've moved and grown a bit on this planet, I've  let "Diarrhea Mouth " out to play here and there. Some MFers just don't understand the language of kindness and respect, and have to be told where to go, how to get there, and how quickly they need to move their dumb asses...

Innywhoo...I've my petty self lives more outside of me these days and not just in my head. And as a keyboard warrior from time to time, I find myself chatting with folks who share my petty thoughts, appreciate my vulgar tongue, and have my dry sense of humor hidden away from polite society, only to be let loose online.

So now Petty Proverbs is all of our service...ready to fill our closets with some of the rudest most vulgar sarcastic blunt apparel you'll ever come across. We are petty as fuck here, and we throw around the word fuck like it's nothing. I KNOW I could make pirates blush!

May the apparel we share with you help you share your inner petty with the world. Embrace your petty! Wear your petty! Love your petty! Shop now, and use discount code 'LAUNCHCODE' on your next purchase, and remember that shipping is on us until October 31, 2019!

Thank you for stopping by!

~Johanne

 

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